Profile Pictures: the good, the bad and the scenery?

Human beings are visual creatures. Period.

Some of us may be more visual than others, but the bottom line is we all want to know who it is we are reading about, getting to know and hopefully/possibly clicking with. In a world of fast clicks and short attention spans, if your profile picture isn’t eye-catching, or illustrative of who you are, you may miss your shot at making a positive first impression. If you have a picture of your guitar, your pet cat Mr. Chow or (and this is the worst) nothing at all (!!!) you’re basically telling other subscribers you’re A) not that serious, or B) have something to hide.

Either way, not posting a real & current profile picture of yourself greatly lowers your chances of finding someone compatible with you on this site.

Unlike other free, social networking sites, everyone here is a full-paying member serious about seeking out their perfect match. Other members are out there trying to find someone who will click with them, in every way … starting with how they look!

Studies have shown that people tend to zero in on individuals who fall within their ‘looks range’ meaning you do not have to be a supermodel to be found attractive. Simply a casual picture of you (hopefully smiling and looking at the camera) is good enough. (Tips on taking a good profile picture coming up.)

So it’s all about the way you look, right? Well no, but the way you look is a definite starting point whether you would like to admit it or not. If someone is drawn to your profile content and your personality and character and finally gets to see a picture of you and isn’t attracted … well that’s simply a waste of time and energy for the both of you.

Half Our Deen was created to promote a healthy and mature exchange between individuals looking to find their life partner. Random and bored Internet snoopers have a whole world of free sites to scroll through. You can rest assure that everyone on this Muslim marriage website are full-paid members and are serious on hearing those wedding bells jingle.

About 10% of brothers and 31% of sisters on Half Our Deen don’t show their real pictures on their profiles. Modesty might be a concern for some of you. For others it might be a fear of rejection. Both are valid yet both do not belong on a Muslim Marriage website. In terms of the first concern, you are being encouraged to post a picture of yourself just as you would look if someone met you at a coffee shop or a social event. Nothing outlandish or inappropriate. Just something that speaks to how you would look if they ran into you while you were out and about. If your concern is the latter, the best way to avoid rejection is to display who you are and how you look from the onset. That way, anyone seeking you out already has a visual image of the person they are communicating with.

Then again you might be completely fine with the idea of posting a real profile picture of yourself … except for one thing: you don’t have any good pictures of yourself after the 3rd grade. Well, if you’re hard-pressed to find a flattering photo of yourself, your membership to this Muslim Matrimonial site is hopefully encouragement enough to start! Grab your digital camera (or borrow your buddies for the day) and take note then click away:

HOD Profile Picture

HOD1Save your group pictures for albums. This profile is about YOU. Don’t make whoever’s interested in you have to guess which one you are at the jam-packed restaurant table or group picture; make it easy and clear. Take a solo picture!

HOD2Show those pearly whites. A smile draws people in… even if it’s just a grin. Studies have shown that people who post picture of themselves smiling on social networking sites tend to attract other smilers as well.

HOD3Be honest (and be current). This means don’t Photoshop your way to a new pant size or a new head of hair and don’t post a picture of yourself when you were 20 pounds lighter/heavier … You want to attract someone who is interested in how you currently look. You are who you are – put that out there because you want the right person to come along and appreciate the current and true you.

HOD4Come out, come out, wherever you are! Nix the stunner shades, baseball hats and any other object that conceals your face and avoid zoomed out pictures of yourself near your favorite monument. Face-shots and/or full-body shots are probably your best bet. However; if you are niqabee then be all means, post a picture of yourself with a niqab.  The key is to display who you are.

HOD5Click, pick and UPLOAD. After deciding on a picture (or several) you feel comfortable with, make sure you upload it as soon as possible to increase your chance of matching up with another potential. 95% of members click on profiles with real pictures when searching the site.  This means without one, you’re greatly cutting your chances of matching up. You’ve already made a commitment to find your Mr./Mrs. Right by subscribing to the best Muslim matrimonial site … it’s time to put your trust in Allah, smile and say ‘cheese’ =]


Add yours
  1. Malik

    Some of the profile pictures on the site are a joke!

    I would prefer not to see animals or animated characters. I do not wish to marry a penguin or Princess ‘whatever’ from Disney’s Aladdin…

  2. Anonmous sister

    @ sister:

    When I said I don’t agree with all the racism I see, I didn’t mean that I think racism doesn’t exist on the site. I meant to say there is racism, and that I don’t agree this should be occurring within our Muslim community. Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear, I apologize.

  3. Sister

    Asalamu alaikum,

    I don’t agree that it is cultural preservation and not racism. My profile clearly says that I’m a convert and it tells them the country I was born in and where I grew up. These brothers definitely don’t think I’m from their culture.

    It’s racism. Let us call a spade a spade.

    I’m not heartbroken about it at all. I don’t consider it a loss because I don’t want to marry a racist.

  4. free_soul

    I agree that a picture is an important factor to determine, but that’s after some communication, when they both have read each others’ profile, answered questions, and decided they want to take things to the next step. But to have the picture for everyone to c, who is interested n who is not…don’t agree, especially if the sister is niqabi…so maybe post a picture with the niqab (not so flattering) and then later another showing the face.
    Wallahu A’alam

  5. Anonymous sister

    Salaam Alaikum sisters & brothers.

    I really *don’t agree with the racism that I am reading of, it truly shocks me to find out about such things. But just a thought: can’t all this heartbreak be avoided by including a picture or perhaps even stating where you’re from in your profile?

    I read a comment where the sister did not post her picture, nor did she mention her country, and rather waited to reveal these things after conversing with the brother. Surely stating your nationality is not haraam?

    InshAllah I’m not trying to offend anyone- I, too, expect to be rejected because my background. But even for myself- I’d rather avoid the heartbreak by simply stating my nationality in my profile. Allah knows best.

  6. Saleha

    …. whoops! it sounded as if I said those who wear hijab are not pretty & those who don’t are. Sorry, this is obviously not the case as anyone can be good looking =)

  7. Saleha


    There are a lot of pretty girls, who happen to be Muslim, and choose not to wear the hijab. If these religious brothers wanted a pretty girl to marry, they wouldn’t have a problem finding one! But that is not always the case because several Muslim brothers will (Alhamdulilah) marry sisters who observe modesty & hijab.

    Don’t get me wrong- I don’t believe in judging sisters who don’t wear hijab, this is a matter between her and her Creator. Also, no one is perfect- hijab or no hijab.

    But to paint all Muslim brothers as having double standards is stereotypical and not accurate of every Muslim male!

    … I think its important to give each other the benefit of the doubt =)

  8. fatima revert

    There was an instance when I clicked “sounds interesting” on a guy’s profile after taking the time to read his bio. He messaged me back asking me to show my picture. I denied his request at the time, but asked him to answer some questions before I sent him my picture. One of my questions to him was,” what is your opinion of a woman who does not wear hijab?” His response was I would rather married someone who guards their modesty and wears it. So, what if I had sent my picture without hijab and was pretty. Do you think he would have denied me? Probably not. Muslim brothers these days have these double standards. May Allah help us.

  9. fatima revert

    Sakeena, I agree with you sister. I do not wear hijab, so maybe I am the least appointed person to agree with you on this matter. However, I must say even as a convert I am aware of the fact that as a Muslim woman I must guard my modesty. I would definitely say shame to all the brothers that encourage women to post profile pictures. If a man messages me to post a picture and has not even take the time to answer my question, I would question their motives and interests. Why should I take the time to post my profile picture if you have not taken the time to answer my questions?lol.

  10. Salah

    The prophet sallahu alayhi wassalam said for the man to go and look at the sister without even her knowledge.. (her face).. BEFORE purposing. A matter of fact he COMMANDED the man to go and look at her face. So yes it is a very important aspect of religion for both parties to have a good look at one another… it’s only natural. After saying that… it is kinda of difficult over the website to do it in a halaal manner and may allah swt protect us from evil and committing and sin.. ameen.

    But yeah if it is for the sake of getting married I would say that it is very necessary and healthy… i know that I personally would HAVE to see the face of the sister… and very well… and I would prefer to do it BEFORE we start seriously talking about marriage…. there is something about glancing at the face that is incredibly important… and it goes beyond ‘superficial desires’… and thats why i believe that Muhammed (saw) commanded the man many times over to go and look at the sister’s face before purposing. And allah swt knows best.

  11. N-Y-B

    I laughed all throughout this oust this post :-). Bt then I was surprised to hear so of the dissapointment and dispaing comments. Insha Allah sister/ brother if someone doesn’t want to marry you because of your race it shouldn’t make you feel a way about yourself. Its just a matter of preference and preservation of culture (Insha Allah not racism).
    Also I’m surprise about the picture dilemma. Name one wife of the prophet that he did not see before marrying?
    Alhumduillah may Allah bless all of us, ameen!

  12. fatima_zahra


    Is the site valid in Belgium ?? are their belgian members ? .. I hope it will insjaAllah beceause it realy looks interesting.

    One question, i know that the islamic community in UK and US, are more advanced in those kind of things. That’s how it seems te be. For the islamic community her in belgium, it might be a taboe for al lot of families i think. Expecialy for a girl of women to put her picture on the internet. I dont think the community , expecialy the older ones, can understand this. This will make it difficult to involve a mahram in the searching proces. DO someone of you guys understand this, or experience this ?
    For the parents that are open minded for such initiative, may Allah reward them for making it easy to follow what is commanded in our religion.

    Peace to evryone, en i wish you al the best husmand/ wife insjaAllah

  13. Muhammad

    I think “Sound Interesting” button might be misused by many people that includes my self also. Being said, that there should such option that a member can message to other member after the other member has accepted the invitation. Also, I have found that lot of some sisters don’t bother to reply the message. I have read their profile thoroughly and replied the questionnaire and then messaged. More than one months have passed no reply. Can’t they just say ” NO” or just press ” I would rather fast”. This tempted me to not answer the questionnaire and just send short message/ press “sound interesting”.

    @baba ali or site administrator, please filter out the profile pictures. There are few not so appropriate pictures in some sisters’ profile.

    May allah (swt) make it easier for us to find the other half soon.

    Jajak allah khair.

  14. Sister

    @little bird
    Don’t let racists make you feel bad, the most noble people with Allah ta’ala are the ones with the most taqwa.

    Let’s be honest with our selves, some cultures are terminally ill with racism. Its not just compatibility or anything like that (what is written in my profile removes those variables), its a belief that some races are not as good as others.

    I get answered questions or messages from some brothers particularly from certain cultures with “oh, mashaAllah, I read your profile and answered your questions and our religious compatibility is really high etc etc.” but as soon as they find out what my race is, I never hear from them again.

    The problem is that they most likely think I’m from a race that is “better” in their estimation, than mine (The profile could easily lead to this.). I would be really nice if the profile would tell them my race right off the bat.

  15. Muhammad

    This is a very good discussion. From my experience on this site, people here are more focused and modest. But, I have seen some sisters( small number) are putting inappropriate pictures on their profile. Can you do anything about it?

  16. rom

    @little bird, technically the filetring features you are asking for are not so difficult to implement, I really don’t know why they don’t just implement them! anyway I think I’ll wait some time and quit ;(

  17. little bird

    Assalam Alaikum,

    I wish that brother would be more specific about racial and cultural and age preferences. I wish these options would be placed on HOD. I would not like to be exposed to any brothers who would be prejudiced towards me because of my cultural back ground, my race and age. These seem to be the basis of the rejections I have experienced so far and it really hurts my feelings. I am beginning to wonder why I bothered to join in the first place.

    Anyhow, I think the site should feature a part for the sisters Wali. I think walis should be involved in this process because that is the Islamic way. Plus, when there is a wali, brothers are more careful in the way they would approach a sister. They would not just click on “sounds interesting” if they new the woman’s father/brother/uncle/Iman/WALI would be the one getting in touch with them from the onset.

    This being said, I really, really appreciate Baba Ali’s and the HOD team’s effort. They are really trying very hard to bring us the best possible service at the best possible cost. May Allah reward your efforts in this life and in the next. Providing a service that makes everyone happy is not easy. So I applaud you for not giving up and always trying to improve.

    May Allah make it easy for us to find a spouse and grant us a marriage that nourishes us and is our daar Islam. Amin

  18. Kareem

    LOL!!!! that is so truee. Thanks Baba Ali. Hilarious. On a website if you hide behind a teddy bear or sunset wallpaper, or a mosque, you are actually not being honest with others. Being open and telling everyone about who you are is i think a more legit way of finding someone cool. This is for the bros too. If you are good guy and Muslim, then you just make dua and then put up all your info on this site.. There is someone out there for everyone, so we have to give it all our effort. It takes time to find someone, so dont give up or put ur head down. make sure you are cool with your profile page like Facebook. Everyone is real honest there.. They love putting their full name , all pics everything…But when i comes to marriage its like. WOW DUDE.. no thanks.. . i m like bro this is who i am, represent yourself and be proud of what Allah has given you , a chance to get married..

  19. whereistheluv

    @ A sister, I think even though our society wants the man to initiate things, it is always good to see a sister answering your question because it tells you that she is serious and sincere about getting married, and not just waiting for a guy to find her interesting or someone who will sweep her off her feet. I dont think the sisters should feel weird to answer a guy’s questions because I mean it is a marriage site after all =) What do the other sisters feel about answering a guy’s question? acceptable or a girl should wait for a guy to initiate things?

  20. rom

    @A Sister “How do the brothers feel when a sister answers their questions…I mean honestly, I am too scared.”

    Honestly, I like it! and sometimes we can miss good profiles, so I really don’t think like you said, when a sister answer my questions I go to see her questions and her profile and I start communicating oif interested, if not I send a message saying why we can’t match! I don’t know about the other brothers but I think that if someone is really interested in you he will not think this way.

    “My advice brother is to check yourself and figure out why you are so superficial.” I wanted to discuss not to be judged.

    “Dont make excuses instead struggle to change yourself and your standards and see the beauty in every person instead of a narrow definition that is often run by ego and nafs.”

    You don’t want to discuss. You are just judging and this makes you feel strong! congratulations!

  21. deenislam

    Assalamu Alaikum –
    I really commend sister sakeena for pointing out one of the main aspects of Islam people (mostly brothers) ignore. Hijab in islam is not just about a scarf or a beard its about not basing your relationships or interactions on superficial looks and looking to someones heart and deeds to build a loving relationship. Yes it may be in brothers nafs perhaps more than sisters nafs to look for a physical appearance but we are supposed to spend time overcoming our nafs not telling everyone else that the desires of the nafs are valid and worst yet indulging in them and encouraging OTHER people to indulge in them. In terms of the brothers last question what if you are talking and then you see the picture and no attraction. My advice brother is to check yourself and figure out why you are so superficial. IF you talk to a sister and you find that you connect on many levels there should be come attraction. IF you feel at first she is not what you want in your mind then attack why you want that in your mind and give her a chance as opposed to just reject it. Often we want what is not good for us and we do not like that which will save us. Allah swt reminds us of that nature in the Holy Quran. I dont know why brothers dont want to do the inner work necessary to overcome their superficial desires and try and see goodness outside of a physical body. They are kicking and screaming the whole way when peopel try and address this flaw. Looks is one of the least important part of a relationship believe me. You may be seeking something of the Dunya that is fleeting and transient instead of something that is lasting and solid. Dont make excuses instead struggle to change yourself and your standards and see the beauty in every person instead of a narrow definition that is often run by ego and nafs.

    Assalamu Alaikum

  22. rom

    Thank you my sister, Alhamdoulillah you seem very concerned about your religion, may Allah help you to find what you are looking for.

    I want to ask you a question: what if I’m interested in your profile, and we start talking and I ask you for your picture. And when I see your picture: “no attraction at all”!! what are the concequences of this?

    Thank you.

  23. A Sister

    I want to show interest by answering the brothers’ questions but I am not sure whether or not they’d be interested in me…or whether they’d think it is inappropriate for me to initiation contacts with them.

    How do the brothers feel when a sister answers their questions…I mean honestly, I am too scared.

  24. Sakeena

    It’s not about interpretation. This is Islam, not….something else.

    I go to a co-ed college, though Muslims aren’t supposed to mix. But when we have group studies, I stick with all females. When we have an opportunity to obey Allah, we should jump at it.

    There’s too much, “I think,” “I feel,” “It’s ok to…” etc going on with this discussion. We have Islam, so we don’t have to rely on our opinions because we as regular human beings are easily swayed by a multitude of things, whether we think we have good intentions or not. If you ask knowledgeable people (which I have on multiple occasions) about this very topic, they will tell you the honest truth. Really, they will answer you and tell you the truth with evidence. I can give you their names: Sheikh Al Amry, Sheikh Al Munajjid, and Sheikh Adly. All from different places, all said the same thing, with evidence. May Allah reward them all, ameen.

    Alhamdulillah I can say that there are brothers on this site who know the etiquette: Read my profile, get info, talk with dad, ask for pic. Very simple.

    Well brothers and sisters, that’s all. This isn’t the first time I’ve had this conversation and it surely won’t be the last. Know that we bear some of the burden of those we misguide, so let’s all be careful when we speak, Insha Allah. May Allah forgive me, and all of us, for our shortcomings. Ameen.

    As salam alaikum.

  25. Muhammad

    @Sakeena Alhamdulillah you are right in that you told your parents and May ALLAH reward you for that. The situation you are describing is completely different than this. In one you are going about your way and doing your daily thing and not exactly always looking on the streets for a wife or husband. There is a time and place for everything. I understand if you are walking on the street and brothers just started starring at every girl without lowering their gaze, is wrong. But at a place where the whole purpose is to get married and everyone else there is looking to get married, I think its justifiable to look at every person you think may be a suitable partner. Since on this site all are paid members, because its definitely not free, so I am guessing that most are serious on here, if not all, to get married, If everyone is here to get married, I think you should show who you really are. Whether a hijabi, niqabi, non-hijabi, modern dressed or modestly dressed because you want someone to be interested in who you really are like the person above stated. Whether you like it or not, it is physical attraction first, but its not EVERYTHING. But it does kind of spark the interest if you will. Your intention is to get married, so IA i think if you be yourself its ok. I wish you best sister.. As-salam-alaikum

  26. rom

    @Sakeena, I’m not saying you are wrong or right, we can have different interpretation (and we are I think), and Halfourdeen is not saying that you should put your uncovered face, read this from the post “However; if you are niqabee then be all means, post a picture of yourself with a niqab.”, this means be yourself! so when I say hiding I mean for someone who walk in the street with uncovered face and put a picture of a teddy bear!! but if when you go out you cover your face that’s OK, that’s who you are, that’s your deep belief, so be yourself and inchallah if there is someone who have the same belief like you he actually be more attracted to you than to a uncovered sister! and halfourdeen is just helping people to match they are not saying you have to do this or that.. I’m talking about profiles with pictures containing some text or some natural objects “a tree or a fruit”, those profiles if they go outside with uncovered face they should put their pictures, if not well put a picture wearing your nikab!!

  27. Sakeena


    Yes the man should see the woman before he determines to marry her, but that is in the presence of her mahram, and also when he has had sufficient information about her and her family, whether she is pious (which should be number one, if you’re really concerned about what the Rasool, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said). He did not instruct men to stare in the face of every woman that passes by and then pick a face to marry.
    You may say “well we can’t be in the presence of mahram all the time because we’re not local etc etc,” but my dad knows I’m on this site, I keep him up to date, I let him know if someone wants a pic, etc. So there’s no excuse. Allah please help us.

    TV and magazines have destroyed our understanding of male/female relations. To say that sisters who don’t have pics are “hiding” is not nice, and it can be intimidating to some sisters who want to do the right thing. If they want to practice to the best of their abilities, Muslims should be their support, not their adversary.

    I’m sad to see such disconnect from the faith that we claim. When I first read this blog post, I was very hurt. I thought, “what will happen to the sisters who are unable to resist peer pressure? Who may not know their rights in Islam?” Allah please guide us, save us from the hellfire, protect us in this life, bless those who sincerely try to obey You and follow Your Rasool. Ameen ya Rabbi al Aamin.

  28. muhammad

    I do habe to agree with Sakeena on a few points that brothers do that a lot. They will just click sounds interesting on a bunch of sisters, with hopes that one of them responds. Since they are too shy or dont know what to say to them thru messages or not know how to answer their questions, which I think is the easiest way of taking the first step. A lot of guys are insecure and they just hope that one of the 30 sisters the clicked on responds back..LOL> Sounds desperate I know. Even if you dont send a message atleast answer a few questions. 21 questions does seem like a lot if you had to answer it for like 20 people.. LOL! maybe more like 5-10 questions would make it easy. (HINT’ HINT’). well this site is much more Islamic and has more quality people then the other sites, well atleast from what I noticed and experienced so far. 🙂

  29. rom

    @Sakeena Salam sister. If someone wants to see you before to start talking, you can’t call it superficial, The prophet Salla Allahou alayhi wasallam encourages people to see each other before to get married.

    When you say “If you wanna know how skinny or dark the chick is”, you are missing the point my sister, we are talking about psychologie not a body pattern! You can’t be specific about this! I can’t tell what I’m looking for, I just know it the moment I see it, and we are not talking about beauty here, we are talking about psychology matching: I see someone, she is attractive to me (perhaps only me) and I am attractive to her (perhaps only her) and we match for the other important things, that’s it!!

    We are not superficial, we are following our Prophet salla allahou alayhi wasallam.

  30. Muslimah24

    This is a funny article I really like it though. I completely agree with the tips that were given. I am part of other social sites and its really annoying to have to sift thru multiple pictures to find the person whose profile you are on..
    @rom: I completely agree with what you are saying because sometimes I will click on a profile and i really want to see a bigger picture adn tehn i click on it and its this tiny pituny picture. How am i supposed to make out what you look like? lol

    Good Post keep it up i really hope people who dont have pics start reading this blog!

  31. whereistheluv

    Yeah , its weird why people dont put up hteir pictures. I mean when you go out there to get married you dont get married without seeing the person. Plus what meets the eye first is looks, and not someone’s personality or their character. I mean you won’t see person walkiing around with their personality on their face, lol. So yeah i htink it is very important for people to put up their pics.

  32. Sakeena

    I pray that the sisters on this site stay true to Allah and their faith, and don’t give in to the oppression of men and their desires.

    Brothers will just click a bunch of pictures, “sounds interesting, sounds interesting, sounds interesting,” subhan Allah. Maybe the button should be changed to “LOOKS interesting,” cuz they sure as heck ain’t readin’!

    If you’re “serious,” frickin’ TALK. Answer the questions, ask questions, have a real actual conversation. If you wanna know how skinny or dark the chick is, state your preferences IN YOUR PROFILE, IN YOUR QUESTIONS. Then skinny black sisters won’t talk to you in the first place. Embrace your inner superficiality so the wrong people won’t have to be victims =)
    Rocket science, I know.

  33. rom

    Nice! That’s true, I don’t communicate with someone I can’t see! but most of the profiles are hiding or having a tiny picture so we can see nothing.. and I was thinking about a way to filter those profiles! actually I have an idea but that’s not a priority for me so I’ll pass.

  34. Jarib

    haha! I love what you are doing with the videos and now the website and more videos. I look forward to your videos all the time. This is good for my community as I have told everyone. Is that Ali G? LOL

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