So, you’ve put your profile up on a Muslim marriage website, and you wait in anticipation for a response while you browse other profiles. Suddenly, a message pops up.
“Salaamo alaikum, I like your profile. Let’s talk.”
Great! Allahu akbar! That’s what you’re here for right? Until the next email is- “I know you’re the one. Let’s get married.”
Wait- what? Um, that was a bit fast. We haven’t even discussed anything yet.
“I know, but I’ve read your profile and this is it. We will work.”
Does this really happen? Sadly, it does. I’ve heard of both brothers and sisters being emailed by someone of the opposite gender who has stated “I love you” or “Marry me” in the first email. One brother was approached by sister who stated that she just had to marry him, and not to worry about the wedding, she would pay for everything. In her second email.
People, let’s be clear- you can smell desperation. Even through the internet.
And then there’s the opposite. You’re getting to know someone and it looks like there is progress when they state “I don’t think I want to get married for another five years.”
Excuse me for stating the obvious but- why are you on a Muslim marriage website?! If you want to “date” for five years, then you’re in the wrong religion.
So, what’s my advice if you ever get one of the “marry me now” emails? Ignore the person and hopefully they’ll get the hint. And if they email you again, block them. This is not someone who is looking for a marriage partner. This is someone looking for a fast marriage. Or a visa. There’s a big difference between looking for the right person, and looking for any person.
If the person does not want to get married for another few years, then they are not serious and they are wasting both their time and yours. Politely end the emailing and move forward.
Above all, always do your istikharas, trust Allah’s guidance, and when you know something is wrong, step away.
Remember- Allah’s always watching!