Put Deen, Not Dunya, at the Forefront of Your Wedding


We live in a dunya where “bigger is better” and “bling” is a word in our vocab. People will go through financial difficulties to show people they don’t really care about that they have money/status/a place in society. Currently, the average wedding in the U.S costs approximately $27,000.

Did your jaw drop? Mine certainly did.

And somehow, Muslim weddings have managed to be taken over by this falseness. Somehow, our brothers and sisters are throwing bigger and more expensive parties for the sake of a union that is already abundantly beautiful and blessed no matter how big the event hall is.

Here we are, an Ummah that is blessed with a glorious deen, a deen that is not interested in money or wealth, but on character and akhlaq. To our Lord who tells us “The material things which you are given are but the conveniences of this life and the glitter thereof; But that which is with God is better and more enduring: Will you not then be wise?” (The Holy Quran, Chapter 28, verse 60)

There is too much pressure on our brothers and sisters for a lavish wedding. Have you been through this? It could be your spouse who wants a big, fancy party, or your parents who are determined to throw the best event(s) money can buy. Or even yourself. Perhaps you are imagining a lavish wedding that has your guests gazing in amazement?

There are people who are set to get married, but want to save up thousands of dollars to have an unnecessary and over-the-top event. Money is thrown around at every angle, from the centerpieces to the cake, and some Muslim weddings have even been seen to have men and women mixing and dancing together because “it’s a special day.”

This day, like everyday, is being watched by Allah. He sees and hears everything we do. Is this how we want to start our lives as husband and wife? With money and material objects being at the forefront of our minds?

The Prophet (saw) was a humble man. He encouraged us to be humble and give in charity. How about having a small gathering at home, with the people that truly care about you? Or a simple masjid gathering? Why not take this money and do something beneficial, like plan a trip to Mecca, or donate it to the many starving children across the world? Start your life without debt.

If we took all the thought, and planning and time that is taken to plan such a huge event, and put it into bettering ourselves as Muslims, and putting the effort into preparing ourselves for marriage, surely this would be more rewarding? The wedding at the most will be a few hours. Your marriage will last a lifetime InshAllah!

So please, ask yourself this: Does having a lavish wedding make a difference to the life my spouse and I will have?


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  1. Name

    well said mashallahu!this piece though short really do hit the nail on its head…yes lets start our marriage without debt….
    Many a time a small gathering for nikkah is misconcepted to be INTRODUCTION in my country,so that when the sister gets pregnant people always remark that ‘a sister who is supposed to be a model has also been put in the family-way.above all,we pray for ALLAH’s aid.

  2. majid

    Assalamalaikum. Very good post. Hits the right chords at the right places. The ideas of spending the money for the pilgrimage or getting the other brethren married are awesome. May Allah (SWT) direct the ummah. Ameen.

  3. Enchantedhijabi

    Salams Everyone,
    I appreciate this post very much. I agree with a lot of that, however this post is missing a lot of other factors that includes “social pressure, family expectations” etc.

    There are a lot of us who would rather have small intimate wedding than a big lavish one. However, there are us who would want a big weddings because we would everyone else to be part of our celebration.
    To get as many duas as possible!
    There are many of us, who came to the west without any extended families or relatives and our communities are extended families. So, there’s always this need to include those who were a major support through out our development as ‘me’. I think, it would be rather selfish to seclude those special people. Sure, not every aunty and uncle on the block who helped us get our MD/pHD! But, if it was for their bad habit of correlation, our parents would not have pushed us this much in the positive direction.

    That’s my two cent.

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