“You joined a matchmaking website??! Don’t you know those things are like super haram?!”. This is a common response that a lot of people might get if they went around telling their friends they joined Half Our Deen, a Muslim Matrimony site. And, had they joined any other matchmaking website that statement probably would have some truth to it. You know, with all the pictures and physical stats on profiles and lack of any REAL information about the individuals. Not to mention the chat features. It’s more like a social network than a place to actually find a spouse!
One of the ways that Half Our Deen distinguishes itself from other online matchmaking websites is by taking precautions to remain a safe, Islamic, environment. We have insured that only brothers and sisters who are seriously seeking a spouse have access to profiles. We have also set up detailed compatibility tests and offered the option of adding your own questions so it is easy to screen potential spouses without spending hours in conversation.
However, once you have found a good match it is your responsibility to keep it halal. Islamically, there is nothing wrong with getting to know your potential spouse. Infact, it is recommended. There are conditions when it comes to interacting with them, though. So, what are some of the ways you can make sure you’re keeping it halal?
1) Stick to relevant topics such as understanding financial situations, where you’d live if you married, the role of your families in your life, the parenting style you’d like to implement, the types of activities you enjoy and any other topic that would affect your lives together.
2) Have a third party aware of and included in your correspondence. Knowing that someone else is reading what you type is sure way to avoid being flirtatious or going off topic.
3) Get the wali involved as soon as possible. You might think that bringing up the wali will make you seem pushy or that you’re moving too fast. In reality, it will make the other person respect you and realize that you are 100% serious.
4) Make sure you are corresponding because you need to and not because you want to. If you find yourself making up excuses to email the other person, spending hours chatting, and wanting to relate everything that happens during your day to them then you’re starting to tread on dangerous waters. Once emotions get involved the halal/haram line begins to blur and your decision making skills can be impaired. So take a step back, get the families involved, and move forward with the next steps to getting married.