What makes a relationship successful?

Finding a compatible spouse is an important step in establishing a solid relationship but its also just the beginning. A healthy relationship is a two way street that takes a lot of dedication and hardwork but which ultimately leads to great happiness.

One of the building blocks of such a relationship is to try and live your life through the beauty of Islam. By following the Islamic teachings regarding spouses, everyone will have their rights fulfilled and be content. No one will feel under-appreciated or over-used.

Challenging and inspiring each other to be better will help the relationship develop further and will insure that you grow together rather than grow apart. Set goals that you would both like to achieve and work towards them with support and kindness.

Just as having projects and goals together is important so is having ones apart. Encourage your spouse to take up their own hobbies and to spend time with their friends and family. Not only will this give you some time apart to focus on your own interests but it will also show your spouse that you respect and care for their interests and the people they value.

Spouses can often overlook the faults of the one they love but that does not mean that you should. If there is something you know you can improve in be honest with yourself about it and work to change. Likewise, if you feel like you are starting to “let go” in aspects of your life such as taking care of your body don’t wait till the problem gets worse as it will be harder to fix.

Allah (swt) created you as unique individuals with differing points of view and modes of thinking so respect each others differences. As long as neither of you step out of line a disagreement can be healthy for the relationship. It shows that you trust each other enough to be yourself and to share your true opinions. If after hearing your spouse out you still do not agree with their point of view on the matter that’s fine! But if you realize that you might be at fault be humble and admit it.

Take the time to surprise your spouse. It can be something as simple as taking the afternoon off to spend with them or it can be over the top romantic and cliched. Regardless of what you do they will appreciate the time and effort you spent on just them.

Our spouses are half our deen and are means for our entrance in Jannah, so let’s take the time to appreciate them. By working on our relationships not only are we making our lives now more enjoyable but we are also gathering good deeds to make our lives in the hereafter even greater. And that what makes a relationship successful.

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  1. Maryam

    As Salaam Alaikum,
    I think there is an elephant in the room that everyone is overlooking here. The evil of pornography is something that has spread into the community of Brothers. I have heard of a Brother who insulted his wife’s body saying he could see better on line.

    Therefore, I take exception to this paragraph:
    “…Likewise, if you feel like you are starting to “let go” in aspects of your life such as taking care of your body…”

    OF COURSE a Sister should be healthy. But you Brothers need to REALLY understand how much a woman’s body goes through with a pregnancy/ breastfeeding a child. There is a reason she puts on weight. You have to be tolerant, supportive and loving of her, since all of this Western Society is telling her already that she is ugly and fat.

    Do you know? It takes 76,500 EXTRA calories on top of what a healthy woman eats to make a baby! And this does not even take into account what her body needs after birth for breastfeeding.

    So Brothers–stay AWAY from the fitna of Pornography. Love your wife’s body even as it changes throughout childbearing and breastfeeding. Don’t have unrealistic expectations of her “snapping back into shape” right away. DO support her by taking care of the baby so she can go for walks, go swimming with other sisters, take sisters’ only exercise classes.

    And Allah (swt) knows best.

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