You’ve spent months searching for your special someone. Now that you’ve finally found them you promise yourself that you will cherish the relationship and make it a priority in your life. There is no way you want to mess this up!
What we fail to realize is sometimes the mistakes we make in our relationships are not intentional; they sort of creep up on you when you are least expecting it. So what are some of these common mistakes and how can we avoid them as Newlyweds?
Taking your spouse for granted
One of the easiest mistakes to make after marriage is to take your spouse for granted. Once the excitement of the wedding and the honeymoon phase are gone the grind of of our day to day lives kick in. Each of the spouses fall into their designated roles and the wooing comes to a cease.
The remedy for this is simple—dedicate a set amount of time each week to do something special for or with your spouse. It could be a date night where you both put all other stresses behind you and focus on enjoying each others company. Or it could be that you surprise them with a trip to the spa (for the wife) or sporting event (for the husband). It could even be something as simple as leaving them a note in a place you know they will find or sending them a text message that reminds them how much you love and care for them (rather than reminding them to pick up milk on the way home!) What truly matters is that they should feel that the gesture came from the heart.
Failing to appreciate your spouse
Every person expresses love in a different way. So while you might express it through giving gifts your spouses version of expressing love may revolve around doing things for you. While another person may feel/express love through spending time with their spouse. And yet another might find it in touch and require extra hugs, cuddling, and intimate time in order to feel loved. So when two spouses feel and express love in different ways (for example: one of them constantly gives the other gifts hoping the other spouse will do the same while the other spouse is constantly freeing up time to spend with them hoping they will do the same) they may end up feeling unappreciated.
While you might not know what language of love your spouse responds to right away by observing and speaking to them about it you will be able to figure it out. Once you do make sure to appreciate and reciprocate the things they do that you know mean a lot to them.
Failing to listen and compromise
It can be a difficult transition from being the only one to make decisions for yourself to doing it as a unit. Sometimes this leads to not fully listening to your spouse. Instead of paying attention to what they truly mean it’s easy to hear what is superficially being said. In turn this can lead to a lack of compromise.
When an issue arises that you both do not agree on take the time to talk it through calmly. Figure out the points you are not willing to budge on and ask your spouse to do the same. Then, with a clear head see how both of your views can be reconciled.
Not living your own life
Just as it is important to make decisions together and consult each other in your daily lives it is also important to maintain a level of individuality. It is alright to have interests that your spouse does not partake in as long as you give them enough time as well. Being married does not mean that you have to give up every aspect of your per-marital life. In fact, it is healthy for both of you to have some time apart to participate in activities separately or to hang out with friends alone.