Setting Expectations from the Start

Newlyweds in the early stages of falling in love often find themselves going above and beyond for their spouses. A wife may try to make elaborate meals and husband might return home each night with a surprise for her. While this is admirable and it can foster love between the spouses it is also impractical.

Throughout a marriage spouses should try their hardest to please each other and do nice things for one another. However, if they overextend themselves not only will they eventually burn out they will also leave the other spouse with expectations that are too high.  Instead, from the beginning of the relationship both spouses should talk over and set a precedence of how they view the rest of their lives together being.

If a wife would eventually like her husband to take on some household responsibilities, such as helping her with the vacuuming once a week, then she should let that be known from the start. Instead, most will happily take on all the household chores by themselves until they are tired of it at which point they will snap and state that the husband “never helps”. When the reality is in the beginning of the marriage when he offered to help they would turn him down and he got the impression that was not something he needed to contribute in.

The same applies to a husband, if he has certain expectations of his wife they should be established from the beginning. If these expectations are not discussed and acted on from the start it will be much harder to change them later. It is easier to create a habit than to change a habit.

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