Recently, we have made some improvements to Half Our Deen. The new design is now mobile friendly, which means you can use it via your phone or tablet. Although we have made some improvements to the site, we still have a lot more to do in the upcoming weeks. We thank you for your patience.
MashAllah a very inspirational story of a sister on Half Our Deen who found her other half a year after joining the site. Please be patient, and make dua. We have to put in the effort and leave the rest up to ALLAH!
“up00lam, I have a success story to share too. However I would rather use initials i.e. I would like my husband & my name to not be published. I was a member of HOD from Feb 2011. Exchanged a few messages in the site with a couple of brothers but none was the type of Muslim husband material I was looking for. In June 2011 I did Umra and asked Allah to grant me a rightful Muslim man for a husband. Months passed and Ramadan came in August. Still, there was no progress in my HOD account. And then… 2 weeks after Ramadan, I got a “Found You Interesting” click from a brother from America. I looked through his profile and I found him quite interesting too so I decided to answer his questions that he had included in his profile. Not to long after, he replied to thank me for answering his questions and that he would like to know me for marriage whether we are suitable. However, he told me that this would have to wait till after Eid as he was in Makkah for Umra. So weeks passed and on the 2nd day of Eid I replied to his message. Soon we found ourselves to be suitable and wirhin that week we prayed our istikharas. In early October 2011 he came to my country, Singapore, to meet my family and me. 6 days after we met, we had our nikah done in Singapore, alhamdulillahi Rabb al alameen!
with my parents blessings, of course. We’ve been married for almost 7 months now and subhanaAllah life has been very interesting as we didnt date before marriage, alhamdulillah, and get to know each other only during our marriage now. May Allah put barakah, love and mercy to all married couples. I can never thank Baba Ali enough for his iniative in setting up such a wonderful matrimonial website like HOD. Jazakum Allah kheir jaza’
Know each other only after marriage. I can never thankBaba Ali enough for hisiniative on setting up HOD. Jazakum Allah kheir jaza’“
We have been getting so many success stories, we have built a page for it. Look for our new success stories page coming soon, InshAllah.
It’s that time again. We are running our first HOD Offline Singles Event of 2012 in San Diego on 14th July Inshallah. In our first event, 48 people got a seat and we had 10 people matching up! At our next event, 70+ people got a seat and 18 people matched up and 1 couple got married. At our third event 42 people got a seat and we had 17 people matching up.
Half Our Deen Offline is different than your typical Muslim Matchmaking events, and the results speak for themselves. Of course, we cannot guarantee success, but we are waorking hard to make the event different and fun with the hope that there will be success in it InshAllah.
The typical matchmaking event held by other organizations is limited to the “halal speed dating” method. Where you speak to one person for a few minutes, and speak to many throughout the evening. Then, you have to decide which one you want to speak to at greater length for the potential of marriage down the road. It is understood that you need to spend more than three minutes with someone to find your other half. A typical HOD Offline event allows more than a few minutes interaction through several activities. We spend alot of time in planning our events to ensure the best possible success.
Below is some of the positive feedback we received from our previous attendees to show this:
• “The chance to interact with potential candidates on a HUMAN level”
• “It was very well organized. I liked the table groupings. The people at my table were very easy to get along with. The activities were well thought out, and executed very well”
• “Interactive and comfortable. Right amount of times for each activity.”
• “I really appreciated how much work you all put into keeping everything so organized and sorting everyone out according to preferences and religious compatibility. That kind of extra care really made me feel like you guys truly care about all of us finding our partners.”‘
Spots are already being filled so don’t procrastinate. If you know you can’t make it, please tell the single brothers & sisters you know InshaAllah.
We hope to see you soon filling out your survey and registering for HOD Offline by clicking http://halfourdeen.polldaddy.com/s/offline-hod-registration-san-diego.
We look forward to helping you find your other half!
HOD Offline Team
“Stories like this inspire me to continue making Half Our Deen better”, Baba Ali, Half Our Deen.
Author: Nawal Shahril
How I met your father
To my future children. By the time you are able to read this post, I am probably in my late 30’s and still look gorgeous as ever.
This post is about a man who rocked Ummi’s world. A man whom I respect and hold on to. An amazing man who came to my life by surprise. Responsible and love his children more than his life. He loves us unconditionally. He is most proud of us although he doesn’t show it. He is our provider and our cheerleader. He is…
I have met so many wonderful people. Travelled all around the world. Worked in a different country. Enjoyed every moment. I was living life. Amidst all these, I knew that there is still a missing piece in my life that I wasn’t sure what was it. I turned to Allah and did my Umrah, Alhamdulillah. It was in front of the majestic Ka’aba that I prayed and wished that Allah would lead a wonderful man to me to complete that emptiness and fulfill my deen.
How can I find myself a husband?
I turned to the world wide web for answers. Muslim matrimonial websites were my indicators. I remembered to have registered for 3 different sites. I must say I met very interesting brothers Masyaallah. Some didn’t work out. Some…almost. Some…just pain in the butt. Different individuals have different needs and expectations. Too much of expectations in fact.
But..no matter how devastated one situation after another can be, I didn’t give up. I know I have to find someone and have faith for Allah will help me.
One day when I surfed YouTube, I stumbled upon a video by Baba Ali and his matrimonial website called Half Our Deen. Knowing Baba Ali and his cool ways of giving da’wah, I thought why not give it a go. What I’ve noticed was I can’t view any of the brothers’s pictures unless I pay for the registration. Unlike other websites I’ve been to, some are free and some allowed you to view pictures prior signing up. I took out my debit card and I remembered saying ‘I’m doing this because of Allah’ and BAAM! I was registered.
Again… the process continues. In and out and after few attempts, I decided to shut down my account and just give husband hunting a rest. After a month, I checked HalfOurDeen again and I was surprised that my account was put on sleep rather than being deleted for good. Since my account was paid for 1 year service, I mustered all my strength and give it one more go.
Probably 5 minutes after, I received a message from a man that I wasn’t interested in replying at all. He messaged me before this when I had my account active. I was like ‘ Maan!, this man is damn persistent ‘ and decided to give him a chance. His name is Valentino Chavez (Vito) and the rest is history.
We talked for 7 months and I flew to the USA to meet this man of my dream. I had no idea what to expect. Whether he might be a serial killer or sex psychopath but I was sure I did the right thing. He told me, even though I would be ugly in person..he would still marry me. pffttt! (see how annoying daddy is???) I have prayed Istikharah and alhamdulillah I was sure about this man. With my parents and family’s blessing I was married by Imaam Karim Abu Zaid at Masjid Abu Bakr, Denver Colorado on March 7th, 2012.
Wow. I’m a wife??? Until now, I still couldn’t believe that I am finally… married! wooohoo!!
Married life is a new dimension. The other phase in life that you’d be tested vigorously by Allah s.w.t. Whether good or bad, just enjoy and endure it. No matter how hard the day could be..in the end you know your soulmate is waiting, arms open for you.
I am grateful that I married a super hunk awesome muslim man. A man who accepted me thoroughly. A man who introduces me to a whole new world and a new family.
I couldn’t have asked for more…except for an iMac and a craft studio 😛
Children, now you know how I met your father. In life, you have to believe in your decision and go get ’em. Be persistent and be ready to overcome any obstacles. Don’t you ever ever give up because the moment you feel that there’s no hope, all door closes and you might not get what you wanted. Have faith in Allah and Insyallah..Allah will show you the path.
and to my husband..I love you Sweetheart. May we be the best of Muslims and be a great role model for our children.
..and to Allah.. Thank you so much! You’re the best!
We came across this the other day and as this is growing need for our single and married couples, we thought we should share this. As Aman Killawi rightfully said, going through pre-marital counselling can avoid heartache and boiling issues that will arise after marriage. It is very important to understand the benefits of counselling and how it can help those about to get and already married.
Date Published: FEBRUARY 6, 2012 5:00 AM
Author: Amal Killawi
I spent my time at a recent wedding listening to people’s marriage problems. As the guests danced the night away in celebration, I sat in the back of the hall talking about shattered dreams and unfulfilled expectations. Sometimes, we had to scream to hear each other over the music. There was the young woman whose husband wouldn’t let her finish her education. Then, a friend wanted advice about dealing with her in-laws. And a mother cried as she shared her worries about welcoming her daughter home as a divorcee.
What a night! The reception ended with the passing of favors and du`a’ (supplication) for the newlyweds. I remember making extra du`a’ for the bride and groom. Dear God, please bless them with a lasting and healthy union. Ameen. I left the wedding in deep thought and had trouble falling asleep that night. I was so moved by the irony of that experience.
In just the past few months, a significant number of marriages in my community have ended in divorce. I know many more couples are on the verge of separation. Don’t get me wrong. I personally believe that divorce can be a healthier, and sometimes necessary, option. But why are so many marriages ending so soon? What needs to change to foster a culture of commitment and responsibility?
All the stories shared with me that night had a common theme: None of the couples had premarital counseling before they got married. No one had prepared them for the challenges of marriage, and many of their problems stemmed from issues that were not discussed before the wedding. A recent study1 about divorce in the Muslim community found that none of the divorced men and women in the study had formal premarital counseling, other than a brief meeting with an imam. Many of them wished they had been offered more extensive premarital counseling, and that they had easier access to counseling services once they were married and experiencing problems. It’s a sad testimony to the lack of marriage preparation in our communities.
When a couple announces their engagement, we rush to celebrate. Have we stopped to consider how much preparation and support the new couple will need for this decision of a lifetime? How many couples truly know what they’re getting into when they’re smiling for pictures on their wedding day? The love and excitement of the new relationship often blinds them from comprehending the reality that marriage is a sacred covenant with God. Wouldn’t it make sense to prepare for this spiritual partnership?
How is it that we invest so much time, money, and energy preparing for the wedding celebration and not for the marriage? We consider the smallest details for that special evening; yet we ignore the essential reason for our celebration—a commitment to spend a lifetime with another human being. As one woman said to me, “I had two months to plan for the wedding. I was in love, and didn’t have time to think about any issue!”
Many couples mistakenly believe that they don’t need counseling before marriage and that conflict should be avoided. However, a certain level of conflict is healthy and necessary, and premarital counseling can offer an opportunity to discuss potential problematic issues.
Consider premarital counseling before you make a commitment for marriage. According to Lisa Kift2 , a marriage and family therapist, premarital counseling will help you:
- Discuss role expectations. It’s important to talk about the responsibilities of each partner in marriage – who will take care of the finances, chores, etc? Discussing roles early on will clarify expectations for the future.
- Explore your spiritual and religious beliefs. What are your views on music, hijab, zabiha meat, and following a certainmadhab (school of thought)? Discussing these issues ahead of time will help determine your compatibility and help you learn to manage different opinions.
- Identify any family of origin issues. Much of what we learn about relationships comes from our parents and other family members. Identifying our early influences and discussing our learned behaviors will help us understand how this might play out in marriage.
- Learn communication and conflict resolution skills. Couples that communicate effectively can resolve conflicts more effectively. This will allow you to spend less time arguing and more time understanding.
- Develop personal, couple, and family goals. You are committing to share a life with someone. Isn’t it important to discuss what you want your future to look like together? Where do you want to be in three years? How many children do you want to have? Outlining a plan for life can be a wonderful way to learn about each other and to strengthen your commitment to each other.
Premarital counseling can protect couples from much heartache and conflict. Since prevention is central to our deen, many imams and community leaders now require premarital counseling and education prior to the marriage ceremony—a guaranteed investment in happier couples and healthier marriages.
What’s your take?
- Do you think that premarital counseling would be helpful to prospective spouses?
- What issues should be covered/ discussed in premarital counseling?
- How can couples be encouraged to attend premarital counseling?
Share your thoughts below.
It’s amazing how we focus more on pleasing the people rather than pleasing our Creator so I decided to make a video about this very subject. If my idea works, the the phase of “what will the people say?” will become so ANNOYING that it will be stuck in our heads, so the next time we hear it, we will remember the message behind this video, InshAllah. The reality is that I can’t change the world overnight but my hope it to make a positive difference within the Muslim Ummah….one video at a time – Baba Ali
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