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HOD Offline Singles Events 2016!

Half Our Deen Offline 2016 is here. New events, new cities, plenty of matches

Visit www.halfourdeen.com/offline. If you would like an event run in your state please do email us on offline@halfourdeen.com.

HalfOurDeen events are different. They aren’t like the typical Muslim-speed-dating events that herd all of the attendees into a room and force them to fend for themselves. You know there is supposed to be some type of structure and that your chance of finding an agreeable potential spouse is higher. You have heard the statistics and seen how many matches were made at every event and on our website. But knowing all of this doesn’t help to settle your stomach, as your sweaty palm turns the knob leading to what could be the best marriage event you ever attend or just another bust. (more…)

The importance of Pre-Marital Counselling

We came across this the other day and as this is growing need for our single and married couples, we thought we should share this. As Aman Killawi rightfully said, going through pre-marital counselling can avoid heartache and boiling issues that will arise after marriage. It is very important to understand the benefits of counselling and how it can help those about to get and already married.

Date Published: FEBRUARY 6, 2012 5:00 AM

Author: Amal Killawi

I spent my time at a recent wedding listening to people’s marriage problems. As the guests danced the night away in celebration, I sat in the back of the hall talking about shattered dreams and unfulfilled expectations. Sometimes, we had to scream to hear each other over the music. There was the young woman whose husband wouldn’t let her finish her education. Then, a friend wanted advice about dealing with her in-laws. And a mother cried as she shared her worries about welcoming her daughter home as a divorcee.

What a night! The reception ended with the passing of favors and du`a’ (supplication) for the newlyweds. I remember making extra du`a’ for the bride and groom.  Dear God, please bless them with a lasting and healthy union. Ameen. I left the wedding in deep thought and had trouble falling asleep that night. I was so moved by the irony of that experience.

In just the past few months, a significant number of marriages in my community have ended in divorce.  I know many more couples are on the verge of separation. Don’t get me wrong. I personally believe that divorce can be a healthier, and sometimes necessary, option.  But why are so many marriages ending so soon? What needs to change to foster a culture of commitment and responsibility?

All the stories shared with me that night had a common theme: None of the couples had premarital counseling before they got married.  No one had prepared them for the challenges of marriage, and many of their problems stemmed from issues that were not discussed before the wedding. A recent study1 about divorce in the Muslim community found that none of the divorced men and women in the study had formal premarital counseling, other than a brief meeting with an imam. Many of them wished they had been offered more extensive premarital counseling, and that they had easier access to counseling services once they were married and experiencing problems. It’s a sad testimony to the lack of marriage preparation in our communities.

When a couple announces their engagement, we rush to celebrate. Have we stopped to consider how much preparation and support the new couple will need for this decision of a lifetime? How many couples truly know what they’re getting into when they’re smiling for pictures on their wedding day? The love and excitement of the new relationship often blinds them from comprehending the reality that marriage is a sacred covenant with God. Wouldn’t it make sense to prepare for this spiritual partnership?

How is it that we invest so much time, money, and energy preparing for the wedding celebration and not for the marriage? We consider the smallest details for that special evening; yet we ignore the essential reason for our celebration—a commitment to spend a lifetime with another human being.  As one woman said to me, “I had two months to plan for the wedding. I was in love, and didn’t have time to think about any issue!”

Many couples mistakenly believe that they don’t need counseling before marriage and that conflict should be avoided. However, a certain level of conflict is healthy and necessary, and premarital counseling can offer an opportunity to discuss potential problematic issues.

Consider premarital counseling before you make a commitment for marriage.  According to Lisa Kift2 , a marriage and family therapist, premarital counseling will help you:

  1. Discuss role expectations. It’s important to talk about the responsibilities of each partner in marriage – who will take care of the finances, chores, etc? Discussing roles early on will clarify expectations for the future.
  2. Explore your spiritual and religious beliefs. What are your views on music, hijab, zabiha meat, and following a certainmadhab (school of thought)? Discussing these issues ahead of time will help determine your compatibility and help you learn to manage different opinions.
  3. Identify any family of origin issues. Much of what we learn about relationships comes from our parents and other family members. Identifying our early influences and discussing our learned behaviors will help us understand how this might play out in marriage.
  4. Learn communication and conflict resolution skills. Couples that communicate effectively can resolve conflicts more effectively. This will allow you to spend less time arguing and more time understanding.
  5. Develop personal, couple, and family goals. You are committing to share a life with someone. Isn’t it important to discuss what you want your future to look like together? Where do you want to be in three years? How many children do you want to have? Outlining a plan for life can be a wonderful way to learn about each other and to strengthen your commitment to each other.

Premarital counseling can protect couples from much heartache and conflict. Since prevention is central to our deen, many imams and community leaders now require premarital counseling and education prior to the marriage ceremony—a guaranteed investment in happier couples and healthier marriages.

What’s your take?

  • Do you think that premarital counseling would be helpful to prospective spouses?
  • What issues should be covered/ discussed in premarital counseling?
  • How can couples be encouraged to attend premarital counseling?

Share your thoughts below.

Source: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/want-your-marriage-to-last-get-premarital-counseling/

Ads, Ads and more Ads

 

Have you ever felt like Muslim matchmaking sites not only charge too much for membership, but are also trying to sell you things while you search? “Cheap international calls!” “Social Muslim networking!” You’ll notice these banner ads, text ads, and if they hold your email address, you may be on a spam emailing list so even more ads are delivered to you personally. Isn’t it all a bit too much when you are trying to focus on finding a spouse?

In 2011, Half Our Deen had over 7 million page views, but yet, there was not one ad. That’s right, absolutely no banner ads, text ads, or any sort of ad whatsoever. Our monthly members paid only $9 a month and our annual members paid the lowest price for any Muslim Marriage site on the internet, at just $5 a month.

Even by charging a fraction of the competition, Half Our Deen pays monthly for four fast servers, so the site runs fast and smoothly, and even pays its entire staff because their effort is valued. So if you’re paying more than $9/month for Muslim Matchmaking, then you are most likely being overcharged.

Some companies have a goal of profit. Our goal at Half Our Deen is to bring single Muslim brothers and sisters together for the sole purpose of marriage. Alhamdulillah, 243 people from across the world have found their spouse through www.halfourdeen.com. Come and join us, and inshaAllah you too will find the one.

You won’t see an ad. We promise.

The Next HOD Offline Event: Long Beach, CA – May 29th, 2011 (@RIS)

We are having our 2nd Half Our Deen OFFLINE event, on May 29th in Long Beach, CA. This time the event will be just walking distance from the local RIS (Reviving the Islamic Spirit) conference the same weekend. If you are attending RIS, this is your chance! We had at least 10 mutual matches out of the 44 that attended our last event and hope to double it this time with your help! We would like to invite you to be a part of the 100% of attendees that said they would recommend Offline to others.

We have spent a lot of time in planning our events to ensure the best possible success. Below is some of the positive feedback we received from our first guests to show this:

Hear what attendees had to say:

“The chance to interact with potential candidates at a HUMAN level”

• “It was very well organized. I liked the table groupings. The people at my table were very easy to get along with. The activities were well thought out, and executed very well”

• “Interactive and comfortable. Right amount of times for each activity.”

• “I really appreciated how much work you all put into keeping everything so organized and sorting everyone out according to preferences and religious compatibility. That kind of extra care really made me feel like you guys truly care about all of us finding our partners.”

Ultimately brothers & sisters, success comes from Allah SWT, and all we can do is try. We’ve already been endorsed by 3 Mosques in California and that list is growing.

Spots are already being filled so don’t procrastinate. We have had 65 registrations so far! If you know you can’t make it, please tell the single brothers & sisters you know who are searching for that other half and get in on the reward.

Go to www.hodoffline.com to register, InshAllah.

We look forward to helping you find your other half!

Improved Compatibility Tests

One of the key features that makes Half Our Deen such a unique Muslim Matrimonial site, is our Compatibility Tests. Recently we brought in the help of Sister Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine, author of, “Before the Wedding: Questions for Muslims to Ask Before Getting Married”,  to helps us further improve our compatibility questions on Half Our Deen. Munira received her Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling at California State University, Fullerton and is also currently co-hosting an Internet radio show, Family Connection, on One Legacy Radio.  With her assistance, we have updated and improved our compatibility questions on Half Our Deen.

Changes Made:

The Personality Test has been renamed to, The Character Test. A few of the questions and answers have been reworded for clarity and accuracy as well.
The Character Test (old) has been removed and replaced by a new test, “Would you marry?”.  This test will help further identify what type of person you are looking for.

What can you do?

– Take the new, Would you Marry?, test.
– Review your answers to the other 3 tests: Character, Religious Views and Family.
– Review your new Matches, as match percentages with other members may have changed.

In order to maintain accurate compatibility percentages, it is important that you review your answers for all 4 tests to make sure they are accurate. Please do so as soon as you can. This may or may not affect your current match percentages with other members.  For this reason, we really do urge you to look over all your answers and make sure they are up to date, InshAllah.

We are constantly thinking of better ways to help you find your match and will introduce updates to existing features periodically.  This would also be a good time to take the tests you have not taken, which will help you match with other members in all 4 categories.

Help us, help you.

JazakAllahKhair