Tag - Allah Swt

The Power of Istikhara

One of the most powerful duaas that we have been given as Muslims is also one that we often overlook; The Duaa of Istikhara. What exactly is this duaa? It is a duaa that the prophet Muhammad (saws) gave us to use specifically when we are faced with making a decision in our life. And, while, we usually use this duaa for the really important ones like choosing which job to accept, what college to go to, or who to marry, it can be used for any choice that we are faced with. Hence The Power of Istikhara

Performing this duaa will only take five minutes of your time however the results can be profound. So how exactly should this duaa be performed?
On the authority of Jaabir Ibn ‘Abdullah he said: The Prophet (S) would instruct us to pray for guidance in all of our concerns, just as he would teach us a chapter from the Qur’an. He (S) would say ‘if any of you intends to undertake a mater then let him pray two supererogatory units (two rak’ah naafilah) of prayer and after which he should supplicate:

‘O Allaah, I seek Your counsel by Your knowledge and by Your power I seek strength and I ask You from Your immense favour, for verily You are able while I am not and verily You know while I do not and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allaah, if You know this affair -and here he mentions his need- to be good for me in relation to my religion, my life, and end, then decree and facilitate it for me, and bless me with it, and if You know this affair to be ill for me towards my religion, my life, and end, then remove it from me and remove me from it , and decree for me what is good wherever it be and make me satisfied with such.’

Now, while using this duaa when looking to get married is meant to help us in our decision making process it does not mean that we will get a vivid dream about the person we should marry or a clear sign. Instead, by making this duaa we are acknowledging that Allah (swt) knows what is best for us, His plan will lead us to what is right for us in this life, and that with His help if this person is the one that we should marry then He will make the path to marriage easy for us. Some people may feel that they have a clear sign while others don’t. Either way your istikhara will work for you.

We must be sincere when using this duaa and not use it with the hope of a specific outcome. You may feel this person is the one for you but only Allah (swt) knows who will truly be a compatible spouse for you. So go into this process with an open heart ready to accept what Allah (swt) has planned for you. No matter how we feel Allah (swt) has a better plan and will guide you to someone who is right for you.

Being a Better You

One of the topics that comes up a lot when marriage is discussed is how it will help you be a better person. How after marriage half your deen will be completed and you will be more whole. And while this is true, to a certain extent, this improvement and development needs to begin before marriage.

The best way to find a spouse that will bring love and happiness into your life is to strive to be the best version of you or by being a better you. What is important here is that you don’t strive to be the version you think others will be most interested in. Instead, you stop trying to be something your not and focus on improving who you really are.

If there are people in your life that influence you in the wrong way or who do not bring out the good in you, now would be the time to distance yourself from them. This can be an extremely hard task however it is an important step in freeing yourself from negative influences in your past and allowing yourself to grow and mature. It is also a step in the right direction in putting yourself first and focusing on what will help you succeed.

In order to succeed in a future relationship you have to to forgive yourself for past mistakes and not be afraid to make more. No human is perfect. If you expect perfection from yourself and constantly compete with others you will never be satisfied with what you have accomplished. So let go of your ideals of perfection. Embrace the challenges that are thrown at you. Use them as learning experiences instead of potential failures.

Learn to take a break and enjoy the small moments in life. It’s amazing how much happiness you can gain by appreciating actions or experiences that may otherwise be overlooked. Society teaches us that happiness comes from materialistic things and other people, whereas the reality is if you are not happy with yourself you will not be happy with anything.

Above all else, be grateful to Allah (swt) for all the blessings in your life. Just the fact that you woke up today seeing is more than many others can say. So, stop worrying and stressing and instead put your trust in Allah (swt). And continue working on yourself until your other half comes along!

What makes a relationship successful?

Finding a compatible spouse is an important step in establishing a solid relationship but its also just the beginning. A healthy relationship is a two way street that takes a lot of dedication and hardwork but which ultimately leads to great happiness.

One of the building blocks of such a relationship is to try and live your life through the beauty of Islam. By following the Islamic teachings regarding spouses, everyone will have their rights fulfilled and be content. No one will feel under-appreciated or over-used.

Challenging and inspiring each other to be better will help the relationship develop further and will insure that you grow together rather than grow apart. Set goals that you would both like to achieve and work towards them with support and kindness.

Just as having projects and goals together is important so is having ones apart. Encourage your spouse to take up their own hobbies and to spend time with their friends and family. Not only will this give you some time apart to focus on your own interests but it will also show your spouse that you respect and care for their interests and the people they value.

Spouses can often overlook the faults of the one they love but that does not mean that you should. If there is something you know you can improve in be honest with yourself about it and work to change. Likewise, if you feel like you are starting to “let go” in aspects of your life such as taking care of your body don’t wait till the problem gets worse as it will be harder to fix.

Allah (swt) created you as unique individuals with differing points of view and modes of thinking so respect each others differences. As long as neither of you step out of line a disagreement can be healthy for the relationship. It shows that you trust each other enough to be yourself and to share your true opinions. If after hearing your spouse out you still do not agree with their point of view on the matter that’s fine! But if you realize that you might be at fault be humble and admit it.

Take the time to surprise your spouse. It can be something as simple as taking the afternoon off to spend with them or it can be over the top romantic and cliched. Regardless of what you do they will appreciate the time and effort you spent on just them.

Our spouses are half our deen and are means for our entrance in Jannah, so let’s take the time to appreciate them. By working on our relationships not only are we making our lives now more enjoyable but we are also gathering good deeds to make our lives in the hereafter even greater. And that what makes a relationship successful.

Half Our Deen Offline Events Coming to a City Near You!

 

Here at Half Our Deen it is our goal to change the face of Muslim matchmaking both on and offline. We take a look at how things are normally done then come up with a way that makes it more efficient, private, and successful, with help of Allah (swt). Alhamdulilah, our past 4 offline events have been a great success and we are getting ready to launch a few more in the coming months. But before we get to that what is a Half Our Deen offline event?

A typical Muslim matchmaking get together is set up in the same was as speed dating. You speak to a person for 5 minutes, ask as many questions as you can, and then debate whether to give them your contact information or not. By the end of the night you might have a list of names and numbers of people you really don’t know much about. Not only that, the only way you can find out more about them is to get in touch with each and every one of them.

Half Our Deen offline turns these awkward matchmaking events into one that brings results, and here is how:

1- We keep our events private. Only people who have registered and paid are told the location of the event. You will have no drop ins or uninvited guests.

2- Everyone who registers is required to fill out a survey about themselves. This survey helps us place you with potential matches that are compatible.

3- One of the first activities we do at the event is a personality test. Everyone will get a sticker that shows what type they are to go on their name tag. This way you can learn about them without having to even say a word. There will also be more activities throughout the night to get to know each other better.

4- Everyone at the event is required to have a Half Our Deen offline profile. That way no personal information needs to be exchanged. If you find someone interesting simply jot down their profile and check it out when you get home. If you decide you don’t like them after all simply click the “I’d rather fast” button and you won’t have to hear from them again. However, if you are still interested you can take the next steps, answer their questions, ask them to answer yours, and see where it goes!

By the grace of Allah (swt), these factors have helped us bring together 1 marriage and 36 matches in our last 4 events. Add to that the over 320 matches made online in the past two years and it is no wonder why Half Our Deen is one of the top Muslim matchmaking sites.

InshaAllah over the coming months we plan on holding offline events in 5 cities:

  • Santa Clara, California – September 29 2012. Sign up here 
  • Southern California – November 2012 (Exact City/Date TBD). Sign up here 
  • Toronto, Canada – December 2012 (TBD). Sign up here 
  • New York City – February 2013. Sign up here 
  • London, England – TBD. Sign up here 

Spots will be limited so make sure to grab yours before they are gone. If you want to learn more about our offline events and what makes them unique be sure to check out this video:

Half Our Deen’s 2nd Anniversary!

Half our Deen turned 2 last week and we couldn’t be more excited! In fact, here is what Baba Ali himself has to say about this amazing milestone:

 

Since Half Our Deen launched in July 2010, no other Muslim Matchmaking site has been able to match the two features that we are known for; our Privacy and Price. With over 2200 active member using the site and over 320 success stories, Half Our Deen is one of the most successful Muslim Matchmaking sites on the net. It’s hard to believe so many success stories have come in just two years. Alhamdulilillah”

Two years ago we set out to create a Muslim Matrimonial website that was unlike anything else out there. We put our trust in Allah (swt), and made duaa it would be a successful means of bringing Muslims into healthy and happy marriages. While, we hoped for a great outcome we were happily surprised by how great of a response we had.

By the grace of Allah (swt), in this past year alone our number of matches have more than doubled to over 300, with new matches being made daily. The average time for a match to be found has also gone down to between 3-6 months. And with the number of active users at over 2200 and growing each day that time frame is bound to go down!

This past year has also been a productive one for us at Half Our Deen. Alhamdulillah, we were able to revamp and improve the website. We hoped to make it more visually appealing and functional for our users. So far the feedback we have received has been extremely positive. However, we are always looking for ways to make your matrimonial experience more convenient so if you have a suggestion on how we can improve make sure to let us know!

A new year of development is ahead of us and we couldn’t be more excited for what we have planned for this year. We couldn’t be happier that Ramadan is kicking off our new year. Ramadan is the perfect time for us to go back and re-evaluate our intentions and turn to Allah (swt) in duaa asking for his assistance in our our endeavours.

Ramadan is also an excellent time for all you out there searching for your other half! It’s a blessed time of renewal where duaas are accepted. It’s the time for you to turn to Allah in the middle of the night and ask for every specific thing you could dream of in a spouse and inshaAllah it will be granted to you when the time is right.

It is also the perfect time to break bad habits and build good ones With the hustle and bustle of normal life it is easy to continuously put off these goals of improvement. Ramadan, helps put what is important into perspective and gives you that extra push you need to start on your journey of betterment.

May Allah swt make this Ramdan a blessed and fulfilling one for all of us. Aameen!

Let’s get real

Their eyes meet from across the crowded park. He is taken aback by her beauty. Her face glows like a full moon and he can’t seem to divert his eyes from her as her purple hijab flutters softly in the wind. She is mesmerized by the honesty and sincerity that eludes from him. She can sense that he will never hurt her. They just know that a life together will be full of happiness and tranquillity. It will be chock-full of romantic walks to the beach, date nights at a new restaurant every week, two amazing children that will grow up to memorize the Quran and be the apple of their eyes. And, let’s not forget that gorgeous house they will own together—every piece of furniture hand made by him and every room tastefully designed by her.

If the paragraph above seems like it belongs in a cheesy late night movie that’s because it’s exactly what inspired it. Sadly, these same movies are what we use to gauge our relationships by and aspire to. They shape our ideal match for us and ingrain us with wants of perfection that would not only make our lives dull and boring but are impossible to attain.

That’s not to say that love and happiness are not attainable in a marriage. Not at all. In fact, every strong marriage will be built on love and lead to happiness. However, love is not the only building block that is involved. Along with it there is trust, honesty, good communication, patience, compromise, loyalty, and most importantly compatibility. So, sorry to say, but love does not conquer all.

The other main issue with these fantasy portrayals of spouses and marriage is that it skews our perception of who is right for us. It romanticizes the qualities they feel should be important to us in a mate to the point that we sometimes lose sight of who we really need. Allah (swt) created each of us unique with our own likes and dislikes so how is it possible that only one prototype of a spouse would fit all?

When it comes to finding our other half what matters most is what qualities in a spouse will bring out the best in us. How will their personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and manners affect us. So let’s take a moment and write down a realistic characterization of who our ideal spouse is and kick the h(b)ollywood portrayals of perfection to the curb!

3rd HOD Offline Event: Santa Clara, CA – Dec 18th, 2011

It’s been a while, and we’ve missed you. After the success of our first two Offline Single’s Events in Orange County and Long Beach where 28 participants matched up, we are bringing you the first Offline event to Northern California. Inshallah this time we will be running the event in Santa Clara on the 18th of December 2011.


In the short time HOD has been running, nearly 200 couples have been married via its services. The small role Allah (swt) has allowed us to play in Muslim’s lives means a lot to us, Al Hamdulillah. Hearing members tell us “I found my other half on HOD” is absolutely priceless and makes our efforts all worth while.

Some of you may have participated and are part of the 100% of attendees that said they would recommend Offline to others. For those who haven’t, Half Our Deen Offline has taken a completely new approach to this process. HOD has designed their Muslim Matchmaking events differently and is always striving to improve. The typical matchmaking event held by other organizations is limited to the “halal speed dating” method, where you only speak to each person for a few minutes, and that’s not enough time to decide if their a candidate for marriage. Half Our Deen uses unique activities where you can learn about the different people at the event in a fun and natural way. More importantly, each person at the event is required to have a profile on Half Our Deen which allows each to learn more about them and specifically what their looking for in a spouse. And by having a profile online, there are no missed connections as anyone at the event can contact each other easily without having to give out personal phone numbers or email. Alhamdulillah Half Our Deen Offline has worked for many and we hope this event will work for you too. www.hodoffline.com

HOD Offline from Baba Ali on Vimeo.

Listen to what attendees had to say from our last event in Long Beach:

  • I have been to 2 mixers (aside from HOD’s) intended to introduce the singles to one another, and neither was as organized as this event one was close
  •  Im really looking forward to the next one
  •  The event was highly organized.
  •  I liked the fact that we could all come together with clear topic goal that we are there to get married.
  •  I like the filtering process, and multiple opportunities to interact.
  •  Being able to sit with people that have similar interests and beliefs.

Seating is limited to 30 men & 30 women and by invitation only. Fill out the survey by clicking here http://bit.ly/o2C4hB and if there is a match for you, you’ll get an invite to the Private location.

We look forward to helping you find your other half!

See you at the event!

Happy Birthday Half Our Deen!

On July 18th, 2011 we celebrated our first birthday. One year later, we have over 1600 members spread across 47 countries, Alhamdullilah. Our website has been blessed with 706,347 Visitors and 6,133,176 Page views Mashallah!  And the best part of it all, is the flow of over 150 matches made on HOD. The little part that Allah (swt) has given us the privilege to play in people’s lives, means a lot to us Alhamdullilah. Hearing a member tell us “because of you I found the love of my life” is absolutely priceless.

What about all the other members who didn’t find their other half? What is written for us by Allah swt, is something we cannot measure. What someone might find in a week might take another 6 months or a year to find. We’ve gotten many members try the site and give up their search after 1 month, 2 months or 6 months. There are others who feel they can’t find the perfect potential, like Neo (from the Matrix) and there is an illusion that once found they’ll live happily ever after.

Unfortunately when considering a potential spouse we measure them to this ideal formulated from fictional characters. Often these dreams we project can be blinding to our judgment of compatibility with this potential. By the time we see the light of who this person really is, we might already be approaching a divorce. It’s important to look in the mirror and realize that we ourselves are not perfect. While some do find that ideal match sooner than later, others may not, which is alright. This shouldn’t put you down or be discouraging. Rather, it should better put things into perspective for us. It really means that ALLAH swt has someone better for you. Believing in that is half the battle and the other half is comprised of patience, prayers and being grateful.

We need to practice patience and understand that there is a time for all of us and this is only in the hands of Allah. its Ramadan and we can use this month to make lots of dua’a and pray for guidance. Always remember Allah swt chooses what is best for us, even if we’re too finite to see the infinite wisdom in His Divine Decree.

The good news is there is a light at the end of the tunnel! HOD is launching many new features, based on member feedback and requests, by October Inshallah. Our new features will include:

Email match preferences:  Our new email match alert  will give you the ability to set your personalized email match preferences to receive matches via email. Its LIVE now!

– New Settings Page:  Our new settings page will be more user friendly and organized giving you a wider array of options. Log in and take a look around!

– PayPal: The world’s most safest way to pay, will be joining our payment screen soon for those who feel more comfortable paying through it.

– New Edit Profile: more fun information to tell your potential matches about yourself. A much more user friendly and organized layout as well. All in all, FUN!

– Muslim Personality Test: what the buzz has been about at all the conventions we attend, is the Muslim Personality test. With a 97% accuracy rating thus far, we plan to introduce MP to HOD members in the upcoming months, InshAllah. Another way to find out more about your match.

Our goal is to give all our members the most effective tools to find your other half. We haven’t stopped working since we launched and won’t stop. All this won’t cost you a cent more. =)

Join us in making dua’a that as we embark onto our 2nd year, there is more hasanat (good) in HOD so we can see the fruits of our efforts in the hereafter InshAllah, Ameen

Jazakhallah Khairun for all your patience and support

The Next HOD Offline Event: Long Beach, CA – May 29th, 2011 (@RIS)

We are having our 2nd Half Our Deen OFFLINE event, on May 29th in Long Beach, CA. This time the event will be just walking distance from the local RIS (Reviving the Islamic Spirit) conference the same weekend. If you are attending RIS, this is your chance! We had at least 10 mutual matches out of the 44 that attended our last event and hope to double it this time with your help! We would like to invite you to be a part of the 100% of attendees that said they would recommend Offline to others.

We have spent a lot of time in planning our events to ensure the best possible success. Below is some of the positive feedback we received from our first guests to show this:

Hear what attendees had to say:

“The chance to interact with potential candidates at a HUMAN level”

• “It was very well organized. I liked the table groupings. The people at my table were very easy to get along with. The activities were well thought out, and executed very well”

• “Interactive and comfortable. Right amount of times for each activity.”

• “I really appreciated how much work you all put into keeping everything so organized and sorting everyone out according to preferences and religious compatibility. That kind of extra care really made me feel like you guys truly care about all of us finding our partners.”

Ultimately brothers & sisters, success comes from Allah SWT, and all we can do is try. We’ve already been endorsed by 3 Mosques in California and that list is growing.

Spots are already being filled so don’t procrastinate. We have had 65 registrations so far! If you know you can’t make it, please tell the single brothers & sisters you know who are searching for that other half and get in on the reward.

Go to www.hodoffline.com to register, InshAllah.

We look forward to helping you find your other half!

The What’s New page

The newest addition to our website is our What’s New page.  This page will keep you up to date on all the latest in HOD news.

Timeline and Progress: A dated recap of how HOD is progressing from its launch to present day. We have nothing to hide; in fact we have something to show.  We want to keep you in the loop with all the hard work that goes on behind the scene.

Upcoming Features: A list of features that are in the works currently.  We want to always improve on what HOD can offer its members.  Most of these are features that have been heavily requested by members. We just want to let you know, that we are listening and acting on it. More features doesn’t mean more money. Our price will never change, but what we offer you will always be more for the money.  Our ultimate goal is to give you the best tools to help you find your other half.  With every feature and every change, we do with that one goal in mind.  Our intentions are with ALLAH swt and money doesn’t follow us to the grave.  But the reward of helping Muslims get married and stay married does. InshAllah.

Facts about HOD: The 411 on some of what makes Half our Deen so unique and different from any Muslim Matchmaking site out there.